Beware grad school! I've been grading papers!

I have a new system for grading papers. It's very new. It's totally genius.

OK, that was all a lie. I have 18 7-page papers about genre theory (but they are freshmen and annoying so they're just writing things like "oh look--there are detectives in all these stories! isn't that a funny coincidence...did I need a thesis? WHOOPS") ... and then someone sent me this LOVELY MORSEL:

My brother-in-law (married to my sister and they are BOTH getting PhDs in English Lit) saw this and had a different reaction from me and my sister--we both bought pints of chocolate ice cream and had nightmares--but he said (no joke), "HALF of grad students get tenure-track job? AWESOME" without ANY irony AT ALL.

I am so filled with minor irritations today that I am straying dangerously close to Bernard Black territory...I have started to feel like my rules for essays and Bernard's for his store are absurdly alike.

And now...in case you're beginning to feel as depressed as I am...HAVE A SLEEPY BUNNY. IT WILL MAKE EVERYTHING MAGICALLY BETTER.