Prelims. The End.
Jan. 27th, 2011 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ifeelbetterIn case there's anyone out there who isn't interested in my Academic Woes, be warned: this way leads to Feelings.
So prelims/orals are different for every person in every discipline in every school. They're just very different. People prepare for them differently, people go into them differently, people leave them feeling differently. I understand this.
HOWEVER. Everyone else in my cohort who took their prelims in the past week or two? They've been super elated afterward. They've been glowing--like, best-sex-of-your-life kind of glowing. This is serious business glowing. If they were glowing any harder, they'd be luminous at night.
I was/am not. My prelims were grueling. There were moments when I thought my brain had just vacated the premises--like, I was knocking on the door to where my brain should be, all "Hello? You just got asked a question about Homi Babha's relevance to your work. Do you have anything to offer?" and getting nothing in reply but a tumbleweed. I have had dark nights of the soul before (read any of the entries under the "factory" or "youth venture" tags for some true Angsty Feelings). This isn't as much angst as all that--I know I did relatively well. I got far more praise than I did criticism.
I just didn't feel good about it. I'm not proud of myself today.
Oh, well. Water under the bridge, right? You win some, you lose some. I have shined in other respects in my academic career and will probably shine at some point with this material. I'm a work-in-progress, after all. I'm actually glad for the process and I'm willing to take my losses so that my victories, when they come, will be that much more enjoyable.
On a lighter note....things I have texted to people in my madness over the past week or so:
That last one--the keyboard smash--was actually what my phone sent when I replied to a text by hitting it against my forehead.
In conclusion, I would like to offer some advice to people preparing for prelims:
So prelims/orals are different for every person in every discipline in every school. They're just very different. People prepare for them differently, people go into them differently, people leave them feeling differently. I understand this.
HOWEVER. Everyone else in my cohort who took their prelims in the past week or two? They've been super elated afterward. They've been glowing--like, best-sex-of-your-life kind of glowing. This is serious business glowing. If they were glowing any harder, they'd be luminous at night.
I was/am not. My prelims were grueling. There were moments when I thought my brain had just vacated the premises--like, I was knocking on the door to where my brain should be, all "Hello? You just got asked a question about Homi Babha's relevance to your work. Do you have anything to offer?" and getting nothing in reply but a tumbleweed. I have had dark nights of the soul before (read any of the entries under the "factory" or "youth venture" tags for some true Angsty Feelings). This isn't as much angst as all that--I know I did relatively well. I got far more praise than I did criticism.
I just didn't feel good about it. I'm not proud of myself today.
Oh, well. Water under the bridge, right? You win some, you lose some. I have shined in other respects in my academic career and will probably shine at some point with this material. I'm a work-in-progress, after all. I'm actually glad for the process and I'm willing to take my losses so that my victories, when they come, will be that much more enjoyable.
On a lighter note....things I have texted to people in my madness over the past week or so:
yes maybe so true but what about sudden death. like with newborns. i could get behind some sudden death right about now.
hank youn dont jinx knock all the wood
Do you think curly hair looks disrespectful?
sdfghjcvbnm
That last one--the keyboard smash--was actually what my phone sent when I replied to a text by hitting it against my forehead.
In conclusion, I would like to offer some advice to people preparing for prelims:
1) You're more likely to pass than not if you cared enough to do the work.
2) Nerves are something you have to just admit as fact. Work around them if you can, expel them when it's possible, but don't ratchet up the stress by feeling guilt about your stress.
3) Your gut already knows your problems. They will agree with what your gut has been telling you all along. So just listen to your gut in the first place.
4) I found Edith Piaf and Garth Brooks equally energizing right before. That and cutting myself off from caffeine.
5) Read all the books.
