ifeelbetter

Title: Idle Hands
Author: ifeelbetter
Warning: This is nearly a month old. What. It's a total geezer by the standards of this fandom.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of value besides one truly awesome ukulele.
Word Count: 2,075
Summary: Civilian, non-criminal life does not suit Arthur. He gives it his best shot, though.
Notes: Prompt from inception_kink meme: Arthur is actually attempting to have a normal life after the events of Inception... find a normal job, have normal hobbies, you know, things that don't involve dreams, guns, explosions or death. It's ... not going well.


( Lighten up while you still can )

Title: Leave Behind My Wuthering, Wuthering Heights
Author: ifeelbetter
Warning: I think Arthur is a little OOC in this but...it's the traditional TA/student thing. I kinda think that has to be OOC.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of value besides one truly awesome ukulele.
Word Count: 2,442
Summary: Arthur's the TA for Professor Cobb's Victorian Lit class. Eames is annoyingly personable with the cashier at the bookstore and may or may not be trying to sleep with Arthur for an A.
Notes: Prompt from inception_kink meme: Eames is currently a student enrolled in Cobb's class, ____ (you pick, something intelligent, please). He's also got this embarrassingly-huge crush on this guy he met at the bookstore (twice) who wore a three-piece suit. That's all fine and dandy, until he finds out that his crush, Arthur, is Cobb's new teaching assistant.

The title comes from--and if you don't already know this, BE SCHOOLED--Kate Bush's song, Wuthering Heights. I am putting the video behind the cut cuz I know some people are deeply offended by the awesomeness of the dance. So, be warned. Kate Bush is waiting behind the cut.

Also. Extra credit for anyone who spots the History Boys ref. Alsoalso. This is, like, an old man by Inception fandom standards. I wrote it about a month ago.

( Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, I've come home / I'm so cold, let me in at your window )

Title: Always Where I Need to be
Author: ifeelbetter
Disclaimer: I own nothing of value.
Word Count: 3,002
Summary: Eames drunk-dials Arthur.
Notes: Written for the inception_kink meme. Prompt was Eames is drunk and lonely and drunk-dials Arthur. Some kind of deep-ish conversation ensues (schmoop would be awesome). I have definitely delivered the schmoop. And, by semi-popular demand (coughlamboystercough) and strategic use of animated Tom Hardy, it has nearly doubled in size.

( You've reached the number 555-020-5522. Please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. 'Arthur? You're not picking up. Arthur. ArtHUR. What if I promised to be reasonable? I'll stick to safe topics. I can go back to trivia, even. I'll just leave the ends of facts I think I know and you can scoff and fill in the blanks and feel superior. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Come on, darling, just pick up the phone. What if I--' )

Title: Two Steps Towards Make Believe
Author: ifeelbetter
Warning: Someone described this as "insomniac porn" on Delicious. This is because I too am one of the afflicted and I really do believe an Eames pillow would cure ANYONE.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Word Count: 3,525
Summary: Sleep has never come easily to Arthur. That's why he's so surprised that it comes easily when he's got his head on Eames's shoulder.
Notes: Written for this prompt in the third round of the inception_kink kink_meme. The title comes from a Charlotte Sometimes song. I'm going on vacation starting tomorrow-ish so I might not have a chance to transfer the various things (of distinctly varying degrees of quality) I've written over at the kink_meme. I'm actually quite proud of this guy, though, so I wanted him up before I left. And, yes, I did just use a gendered pronoun for my fic. And, yes, that was weird.

[edit: Forgot to mention! Because my mind is like a sieve! But! There's been fanart for this fic! By the talented, lovely, and genius lamboyster. GO SEE. Or, actually, read this first and then it will even make sense!]

( Arthur never fell asleep without a lot of effort. He often counted sheep into the quadruple digits. He never napped. )

Title: Baby, You Can Drive My Care
Author: ifeelbetter
Warning: I don't know how to drive or what the difference, in terms of cultural significance, between a Camry and a Jaguar. Or if those are even really cars.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Word Count: 1,518
Summary: Eames thinks he's all that and a bag of chips behind the wheel. Arthur schools him.
Notes: Written for this prompt at the second round of the inception_kink kink_meme. Title comes from The Beatles.

( 'I'll try not to frighten you, darling,' said Eames, holding the passenger-side door open for Arthur. Arthur rolled his eyes, looking decidedly unimpressed and too occupied with the blueprints and folders he was struggling with to bother with a witty retort. )

Title: Just Us and the Cats
Author: ifeelbetter
Rating: G
Warning: I was looking at these kittens for inspiration and, thusly, this is the sappiest silliest fluff of fluffness that ever existed.
Word Count: 2,045
Disclaimer: I own nothing of value, especially not Inception.
Summary: Arthur adopts a couple stray kittens who end up in their warehouse. Then Eames ends up watching them for him for ages. Then kittens and boys do other adorable things.
Notes: Written for this prompt in the second round of inception_kink's kink_meme. I HAVE NO IDEA, PEOPS. If this fic was food, it would be cotton candy.

( 'It's a kitten with a grenade-launcher,' Eames insisted. )

Title: Think It Over (Look No Further)
Author: ifeelbetter
Rating: G
Warning: Angst AND schmoop for the price of one.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of value. For realsies.
Summary: Arguments over a few years and how Eames gets the winning card he never knew he had.
Word Count: 3,021
Notes: I filled this prompt for inception_kink's kink_meme this morning and then I made it into...this in the middle of the night. It's longer now, for one thing. And it has angst, for another. That happened.

( The rippling effects of one road trip gone wrong and how Arthur learned to stop worrying and to love his petname. )

Title: Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep
Author: ifeelbetter
Rating: R
Word Count: 4,070
Pairing: [RPF] Joseph Gordon-Levitt/Tom Hardy
Summary: Tom lends Joe his apartment while Joe is in London and Tom's still filming in LA. It starts innocent enough.
Notes: Written for this prompt at the inception_kink 1st kink_meme originally. This version has been heavily expanded not at all due to popular demand. The title is a quote from Frank Lebowitz. And, YES, if you were wondering, I AM thoroughly guilty about having written this but ALSO SO NOT.

( Of all his co-stars, Joe felt the most uncomfortable around Tom Hardy. It wasn't that the guy was rude or unsociable, he just was starkly different. )

Title: Don't Worry, I Won't Let It Go To My Head
Author: ifeelbetter
Disclaimers: Nothing of value has ever been mine. Especially not the sexytimes that is Inception.
Rating: Umm.. R for Arthur's roving hands?
Word Count: 996
Summary: Eames and Arthur wake up from a job in each other's bodies.
Notes: I wrote this for the bodyswap prompt at inception_kink's kink_meme.

( Arthur was already pissed at Eames -- he knew Eames was responsible for switching out the Edith Piaf for the trashy pop bullshit about not trusting a ho because it was just the sort of crap Eames would think was hilarious -- when he blinked back into the real world. He was halfway out of his chair and ready to shake an angry finger, grade-school teacher style, in somebody's face when he realized something was off. )

Title: Cures for a Broken Heart
Author: ifeelbetter
Rating: G
Warnings: Torte will not solve all problems, kids. Only the important ones.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything of value. You laugh, but it's so true.
Author's Notes: Written for merlinxarthur's Fanfic Challenge #2. In case you're wondering, Gwen and Merlin bake this torte.

( Merlin and Arthur have fought and Gwen might need to break out the heavy artillery in comfort. Good thing she has ice cream, cheesy movies, and a recipe for the best Chocolate Torte ever. )