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[personal profile] ifeelbetter
So this friend of mine quit our English PhD program last year and was accepted to all law schools everywhere and--draaaamaaaa--ended up staying here and going to ours. Which was awesome for everyone but nail-biting-craziness for like nine months.

I was having lunch with this friend on Thursday and she was like, "so how are you ending your semester?" I assumed she was talking about next Tuesday, the day I thought would be the end of the semester. And I was--not gonna lie--more than slightly freaked out by the fact that I hadn't thought of anything sufficiently hear-swelling. And she had just finished telling me about the soaring-rhetoric of all of her end of terms classes (because you can send your students out into the world to save bunny rabbits and starving salmon when you're sending them into LAW) and I love me some soaring rhetoric. I watch old West Wing clips. I have them favorited on Youtube. My brother knows that he can never piss me off enough that a West Wing clip on my facebook wall won't make it all better.

But, no, my friend's like, "No, silly rabbit, I meant today."

And I made this face:


Because that meant I had an hour to come up with Serious Business Lesson Plan instead of the Happy Funtimes Lesson Plan I was planning to use that day.

I ended up doing a Frankenstein's Monster (yes, people, Frankenstein is the doctor) Lesson Plan in which we (a) finished the presentations I had not allotted enough time for before, (b) workshopped all their projects despite how very much they didn't need it, and (c) had a nice little Henry V inspired moment of rhetorical whatnot from yours truly.

Yeah, you heard me. I use Henry V as my rhetorical model in all things.

"We few, we happy few who learned how to write basic essays in this course, we band of brothers..."

It is good stuff.

Only--unlike training people to save all the under-represented cactii of the world or whatever you learn in law school--I only had that one trick in the bag. So it was like a fast-forwarded version of Hal but with the volume turned waaaay down. He's all like "once more into the breach, my friends!" and I'm like, "you're going to end up writing maaaaaany more essays before we let you leave this college."

Not so soaring.

That is my story. I ended class like that. And then I said "Merry Christmas." pause. "And Happy Hanukkah." pause. "And Kwanzaa. And SOLSTICE AND ALL THE HOLIDAYS I LOVE THEM BWAHAHAHA."

So there. YOU'RE WELCOME, WORLD.

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