meme

[ifeelbetter]

I'm currently procrastinating the end-of-semester....working on holiday drabbles, inventing a highly-detailed new syllabus (instead of re-using the one from the last time I taught this course which is what I should have done), etc.

Also this meme:

leave a ship in a comment and i will tell you

who is the big spoon/little spoon
what is their favorite non-sexual activity
who uses all the hot water in the morning
what they order from take out
what is the most trivial thing they fight over
who does most of the cleaning
what has a season pass in their DVR
who controls the netflix queue
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working
who steals the blankets
who leaves their stuff around
who remembers to buy the milk
who remembers anniversaries

(stolen from Tumblr)

Comments

[alwaysaddled.livejournal.com]

Ellen and Geoffrey (Slings and Arrows)

[ifeelbetter.livejournal.com]

who is the big spoon/little spoon

Ellen has to be the big spoon. Geoffrey tends to go fetal when asleep. They always start out the other way around, all hetero-normative because Ellen feels like she's measuring up against her sister's Totally Normal Person marriage, but then Geoffrey has a nightmare or starts reciting Hamlet's soliloquies in his sleep and Ellen has to be all "shhhh, shhhh, it's alright" and then, voila. They've reversed and Geoffrey sleeps better that way anyway.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity

Arguing about Shakespeare, obvs. But they're growing, really they are, and now sometimes they argue about Shaw too.

who uses all the hot water in the morning

Ellen uses all the everything every morning. But it's not like Geoffrey notices because he mostly forgets to shower. Or eat. Or change his clothes. Ellen's secret defense is to back him up slowly into the shower while he's talking.

what they order from take out

Ellen likes Chinese because she likes the white boxes it comes in and the fact that her usual gesticulating becomes dangerous when she's got chopsticks. Also, she's more adventurous than Geoffrey with food. He likes food that comes in styrofoam boxes--mostly burgers--so that he never has to be bothered with dishes and/or leftovers.

what is the most trivial thing they fight over

Who didn't change the toilet paper roll. The truth is that neither of them ever changes it.

who does most of the cleaning

The lovely and miraculously patient woman Ellen hires to do it.

what has a season pass in their DVR

Ellen's sister bought her the DVR as a Christmas present but neither she nor Geoffrey know how to use it. They accidentally set it to record all of Canada's Next Top Model and they would never admit it to anyone but they love it.

who controls the netflix queue

Netflix they know how to use. They have a constant, bloody war going over the Netflix queue. Geoffrey re-arranges it while he's "working" (i.e., avoiding actual work) and Ellen changes it all back later. They also no longer have any vested interest in the films they're putting on the queue beyond making the other one angry. This means they both always hate the movies that arrive in the mail and they watch them in grim silence. Then they go back to Top Model and feel much better.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working

Again, the lovely and miraculously patient woman Ellen hires to clean the house.

who steals the blankets

Geoffrey. Always. Sometimes he piles them on Ellen when he wakes up earlier than her and pretends she stole them just to make it look like she sometimes steals them too. Nobody believes him. And they've had that argument thousands of times at rehearsal.

who leaves their stuff around

Ellen leaves her shit everywhere. Geoffrey tends to be less clutter-y just because he doesn't have as much shit. But messes have never bothered him either and, to be perfectly honest, he doesn't like it when the house is super neat. He likes having Ellen's mess everywhere.

who remembers to buy the milk

Again, the ever-so-patient lady who cleans keeps them in coffee, milk, and sugar. Neither of them knows it's her, though. She just got in the habit when Ellen used to terrorize the neighborhood un-caffeinated before she arrived in the morning. Now that Geoffrey is there too and he does his whole Chewbacca routine pre-caffeine, she supplies it for him too.

who remembers anniversaries

Neither. Then they both feel horribly guilty when either of them remembers that they forgot and do something absurdly sweet but the other one can't possibly get that it's an anniversary-related sweetness because it's just so chronologically not an anniversary. So they have actually "celebrated" all their anniversaries (sometimes twice) but neither knows this.

[alwaysaddled.livejournal.com]

what has a season pass in their DVR

Ellen's sister bought her the DVR as a Christmas present but neither she nor Geoffrey know how to use it. They accidentally set it to record all of Canada's Next Top Model and they would never admit it to anyone but they love it.

This is PERFECT. :)

[dancinbutterfly.livejournal.com]

SYTYCD: Cat/Dom

[ifeelbetter.livejournal.com]

who is the big spoon/little spoon
Geographically, it makes most sense to be Dom. Cat's, like, six feet taller than him (<--hyperbole to my left). But Cat's also suuuuuper skinny so there's always a pointy elbow somewhere. In fact, I bet they have adorable arguments right before they fall asleep where Dom's like, "Is that your pointy elbow jabbing in my side or are you just glad to see me?" and waggles his eyebrows like Groucho Marx and Cat's like "that doesn't even make sense, just go to sleep" and then she messes with his hair and he pretends to complain but he actually really likes it.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity
When Cat first agreed to go out with him, Dom assumed this was going to be a relationship that happened in the press and at galas and wearing tuxes/gowns. He tried really hard to enjoy it and completely over-booked them, making them go out to two or three big events in a night and then doing it all again the next day. Eventually, Cat figured out what he was doing--she doesn't object to getting dolled up for a night on the town, right, but she could see he wasn't enjoying himself--and she sat him down to Talk About It. And he thought they were breaking up and freaked out but then they played video games and made out in his apartment and it was all better. So they play video games now. Cat has really gotten good too.

who uses all the hot water in the morning
Neither of them uses all the hot water--it's L.A., I doubt they're that cold--but they both hog the bathroom mirror for hair upkeep. There's an unspoken thing that they're always in a race to the bathroom in the morning and then the other person bangs on the door and rolls their eyes and shouts a lot.

what they order from take out
I bet Dom is a fantastic cook and they hardly ever order takeout. Sometimes they have arguments where Cat's all like, "Look, you don't have to cook a whole meal this very second. We can order in" and Dom's like "SO YOU HATE MY COOKING??!" and he's sort of joking, sort of not and ends up making something gourmet that takes forever and needs phone consultations from his mom and Cat's starving by the time they get around to eating anything.

what is the most trivial thing they fight over
Dom's hair. Cat runs her fingers through it--especially during sex--and it gets super messed up and she likes it best when he doesn't notice that his hair is crazy. (He usually notices. And runs for the nearest mirror to fix it.)

who does most of the cleaning
They're both pretty tidy so it's not usually a big thing.

what has a season pass in their DVR
Dom has Top Chef and Community. Cat has Doctor Who and Anthony Bourdain.

who controls the netflix queue
Cat. Completely, totally Cat. And she loves David Attenborough documentaries a lot so they got Planet Earth a dozen times before Dom just bought her a copy for Christmas.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working
Dom tries to fix it because sometimes he gets these urges to be The Man but he almost always makes a mess and calls the super/landlord/plumber/whatever while Cat laughs her ass off.

who steals the blankets
Dom does it on purpose. Cat does it unconsciously.

who leaves their stuff around
Neither. They've got a good equilibrium where there's never too much shit left around but there's also not a spartan spareness to the place. It looks lived-in but not a mess.

who remembers to buy the milk
Dom. He loves Whole Foods. And he texts Cat things like, "I'm going to have to try a Baked Alaska" and what he means is "oops, I ended up buying crazy fancy ingredients again." She thinks it's hilarious that he can accidentally buy five tons of groceries and the way he always phrases it as if someone/thing else was responsible, like "I guess I'm just going to have to make..."

who remembers anniversaries
Dom. And he's not above marking it on Cat's Google calendar and telling all her friends and making announcements on facebook.