meme

[ifeelbetter]

I'm currently procrastinating the end-of-semester....working on holiday drabbles, inventing a highly-detailed new syllabus (instead of re-using the one from the last time I taught this course which is what I should have done), etc.

Also this meme:

leave a ship in a comment and i will tell you

who is the big spoon/little spoon
what is their favorite non-sexual activity
who uses all the hot water in the morning
what they order from take out
what is the most trivial thing they fight over
who does most of the cleaning
what has a season pass in their DVR
who controls the netflix queue
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working
who steals the blankets
who leaves their stuff around
who remembers to buy the milk
who remembers anniversaries

(stolen from Tumblr)

Comments

[ifeelbetter.livejournal.com]

who is the big spoon/little spoon

Ellen has to be the big spoon. Geoffrey tends to go fetal when asleep. They always start out the other way around, all hetero-normative because Ellen feels like she's measuring up against her sister's Totally Normal Person marriage, but then Geoffrey has a nightmare or starts reciting Hamlet's soliloquies in his sleep and Ellen has to be all "shhhh, shhhh, it's alright" and then, voila. They've reversed and Geoffrey sleeps better that way anyway.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity

Arguing about Shakespeare, obvs. But they're growing, really they are, and now sometimes they argue about Shaw too.

who uses all the hot water in the morning

Ellen uses all the everything every morning. But it's not like Geoffrey notices because he mostly forgets to shower. Or eat. Or change his clothes. Ellen's secret defense is to back him up slowly into the shower while he's talking.

what they order from take out

Ellen likes Chinese because she likes the white boxes it comes in and the fact that her usual gesticulating becomes dangerous when she's got chopsticks. Also, she's more adventurous than Geoffrey with food. He likes food that comes in styrofoam boxes--mostly burgers--so that he never has to be bothered with dishes and/or leftovers.

what is the most trivial thing they fight over

Who didn't change the toilet paper roll. The truth is that neither of them ever changes it.

who does most of the cleaning

The lovely and miraculously patient woman Ellen hires to do it.

what has a season pass in their DVR

Ellen's sister bought her the DVR as a Christmas present but neither she nor Geoffrey know how to use it. They accidentally set it to record all of Canada's Next Top Model and they would never admit it to anyone but they love it.

who controls the netflix queue

Netflix they know how to use. They have a constant, bloody war going over the Netflix queue. Geoffrey re-arranges it while he's "working" (i.e., avoiding actual work) and Ellen changes it all back later. They also no longer have any vested interest in the films they're putting on the queue beyond making the other one angry. This means they both always hate the movies that arrive in the mail and they watch them in grim silence. Then they go back to Top Model and feel much better.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working

Again, the lovely and miraculously patient woman Ellen hires to clean the house.

who steals the blankets

Geoffrey. Always. Sometimes he piles them on Ellen when he wakes up earlier than her and pretends she stole them just to make it look like she sometimes steals them too. Nobody believes him. And they've had that argument thousands of times at rehearsal.

who leaves their stuff around

Ellen leaves her shit everywhere. Geoffrey tends to be less clutter-y just because he doesn't have as much shit. But messes have never bothered him either and, to be perfectly honest, he doesn't like it when the house is super neat. He likes having Ellen's mess everywhere.

who remembers to buy the milk

Again, the ever-so-patient lady who cleans keeps them in coffee, milk, and sugar. Neither of them knows it's her, though. She just got in the habit when Ellen used to terrorize the neighborhood un-caffeinated before she arrived in the morning. Now that Geoffrey is there too and he does his whole Chewbacca routine pre-caffeine, she supplies it for him too.

who remembers anniversaries

Neither. Then they both feel horribly guilty when either of them remembers that they forgot and do something absurdly sweet but the other one can't possibly get that it's an anniversary-related sweetness because it's just so chronologically not an anniversary. So they have actually "celebrated" all their anniversaries (sometimes twice) but neither knows this.

[alwaysaddled.livejournal.com]

what has a season pass in their DVR

Ellen's sister bought her the DVR as a Christmas present but neither she nor Geoffrey know how to use it. They accidentally set it to record all of Canada's Next Top Model and they would never admit it to anyone but they love it.

This is PERFECT. :)